Realizations
by Yentruoc
Summary: Buffy realizes her true feelings for Riley before it's too late.


Realizations Author: Yentruoc Rating: PG Disclaimer: They're not mine, but Joss'. If they were mine, Buffy and Riley would still be together. Feedback: Yes please! But remember that I'm very new at this! Send it to yentruoc_18@hotmail.com  
  
Buffy and Willow were in Buffy's room watching old movies on the television. Around them surrounded empty cartons of ice cream, empty chip bags, candy and chocolate wrappers, and multiple pop cans. Buffy's mom was in the hospital, and Willow was trying her best to keep bad thoughts out of her head. Dawn had been invited to stay at her best friends house for the night, and Buffy had agreed to let her go, hoping that it would help get Dawn cheered up. As the two best friends sat there staring the TV, they both silently hoped that Dawn was having a better time than Buffy was.  
  
Though Willow hadn't so much as seen Buffy shed a tear through her mother's time in the hospital, she had listened to hours of complaining about the movies and pretty much everything but her mom's current condition. Willow knew that she was avoiding the subject, as it was really bothering her, but kept quiet. *If Buffy needs to avoid the subject than I'll let her* Willow thought. She then reached for the remote and flicked off the television as the end credits had started playing. "You okay?" Willow asked softly.  
  
"I'll live", Buffy replied. "Of course it might be a while before I get back to my living, but I'll live."  
  
"If you don't mind my asking, why is it that I'm the one sitting here beside you rather than Riley? I mean he really cares about you, and I think that he really wants to be the one that comforts you. And I know that you really care about him." Willow prodded gently.  
  
"I kind of left him standing in the hall of the hospital after he came to see if everything was all right," Buffy replied softly under her breath. Her shame was clear in every word.  
  
"Um, that doesn't sound too good," Willow stated the obvious.  
  
"I know, which is why I didn't think that I could just run up to him now and ask him to hold me and make everything better. I just.I didn't think when I did it," Buffy took in a shaky breath before continuing, "I just was so worried about losing my mom, that I never even thought that me spending less time with Riley would give me a possibility of losing him." Buffy's eyes widened in both horror and realization as she thought of what she had just said. "Oh god, Will! What if he leaves? I can't go through all of this without him! I love him more than I ever thought possible-especially after all that happened with Angel."  
  
"Buffy!" Willow cut the other girl off. Buffy quickly shut up and waited for her best friend to continue. " Have you even let Riley know how much you love him?" Willow continued, then watched as Buffy shook her head in yet more realization. Buffy opened her mouth to explain herself, but Willow cut her off. "Save the explanation for when you tell Riley all about what you feel for him. Now go!"  
  
"You're the best Will," Buffy exclaimed as she gave her best friend a big hug. She then stood up, took in a nervous breath, grabbed her leather coat and ran out the door. She didn't even seem to notice that she was still wearing her "yummy sushi" pajamas. A little while later Buffy arrived at Riley's place, out of breath from the long run. Buffy walked up to the door silently praying that Riley would be there, and that she'd be able to admit her feelings towards him.  
  
Riley rose tiredly from his bed upon hearing a hard knock at his door. It was nearly 2:30 in the morning, but he hadn't been sleeping. He was too busy thinking about the way that he had let that vampire bite him, and then the way that Buffy had treated him earlier. He knew that she didn't love him, yet every time that she blew him off it hurt beyond belief. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't get over this woman, and he knew that he never would. Riley thought about this as he pulled a pair of black sweats over top of his boxers and headed over to answer the door. He opened it and was surprised to see Buffy.  
  
Both relived and a little nervous that Riley was home Buffy almost unconsciously threw her arms tightly around her boyfriend's neck. Riley, although confused, returned the hug to the woman that he loved. "Is something wrong, Buffy?" Riley questioned as they let go of the hug and he opened the door for him to enter, "Is everyone all right?"  
  
"Yeah, everyone's fine. At least in the way that you're talking about," Buffy answered.  
  
"What? Buffy what do you mean?" Riley asked as he was quite confused with her reply.  
  
"No demons. No evil. Mom's the same," she said simply.  
  
"So what is it then? And why are you wearing you're pajamas?" he again questioned, trying not to sound rude.  
  
Buffy took in a large breath, and the rest of her words came out in a rush. "Riley I just wanted to let you know that I really care about you-and I don't mean "I just care about you" care about you, but "I love you" care about you. And I know that I should have told you sooner, but I was afraid. After Angel I never thought that I'd ever be able to fall in love again. And I'll admit that I always thought of Angel before you." Buffy's words were cut off as Riley's soft lips met hers.  
  
After a second they broke off the kiss and Riley spoke. "Buffy I love you too. And, yes, I kind of thought that you didn't return my feelings for you. But now that you told me, you don't have to explain why you didn't say it earlier. All that matters is that we love each other. And, again, what's with the pajamas?"  
  
Buffy looked embarrassed as she answered, "I kind of left in a hurry. I had to tell you as soon as possible. Are you sure you're not mad? "  
  
"Of course I'm not mad," Riley explained gently.  
  
"Thank you so much," Buffy exclaimed as she threw her arms, once again, around her boyfriend's neck and noticed for the first time a piece of gauze taped on his neck. "What did you do?" she asked, concerned. "It's nothing," Riley said, not wanting to ruin the moment. But Buffy saw through him and gently peeled the gauze away from his skin, revealing two bite marks.  
  
"Riley, this is not nothing!" she exclaimed and watched as Riley hung his head in shame.  
  
"It's stupid. I let Spike get to me. He said that I wasn't bad enough for you, and part of me believed it," he took another breath before continuing, and avoided eye contact with Buffy. "Part of me thought that if I was a vampire you'd love me. I thought that was why Angel and Dracula had so much power over you. So I let a vamp bite me. But I couldn't go through with it. I'm so sorry Buffy, I should have known that you love me."  
  
"Don't be sorry, Riley. If I had told you that I love you none of this would have happened. I'm the one who should be apologizing," Riley opened his mouth to argue to what Buffy was saying, but she cut him off with a soft kiss. The kiss ended and Buffy explained everything to Riley. About why she didn't even tell him about her mom's condition, and she apologized repeatedly about leaving him in the hall of the hospital. After they had talked, and Buffy had cried for a couple of hours, the couple climbed into bed and Buffy almost immediately fell asleep with her head on Riley's chest. But Riley didn't sleep, he just stared down at the sleeping form of the woman that he loved so much, and thought about their future together. 


End file.
